I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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