my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize