Jerry, you need to find god
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize