Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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