so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize