You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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