I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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