I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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