Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
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Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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