i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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