I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize