last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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