You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We have started to decorate penises.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize