just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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