the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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