i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Never underestimate the power of titties
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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