I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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