I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize