She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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