Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize