Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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