It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
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She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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