We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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