he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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