At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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