do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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