if you like me you must not know who I am
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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