Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize