Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize