so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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