winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
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You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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