He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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