Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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