Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize