Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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