my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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