ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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