yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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