I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize