I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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