I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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