I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize