How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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