mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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