ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize