But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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