So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize