quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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