Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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