And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize